Thursday, 9 May 2013

To the First Years of '08

I can still remember the words of a teacher in my first year of secondary school – “Girls, the next five years are going to fly. Just ask the current Leaving Certs”. Wow, they really have. With that memory still fresh on my mind, it’s hard to look around this room knowing that in a few weeks the people I have grown up with will also be a memory. My nightmare of a year are the present Leaving Certs. Yes, we were a nightmare. From throwing shoes into the lake at Ross Castle to making student teachers cry, and even pouring boiling hot Pot Noodles over each other. Oh, the memories. Unfortunately my decision to part ways with these wonderful beings at the end of 3rd year has left a rigid wall between my year and I. In fact, I’m not even in the position to call them “my year” anymore, which is quite a punch in the chest I must admit. Nevertheless I am writing this for the majority of you whom I will at least miss walking past in the corridors.

Actually, it’s possibly more accurate to say that this is predominantly for those of you who have impacted my life in some way, shape or form. Seeing as I cannot name anyone directly, I will leave it up to you to decipher which paragraph is about whom, and so on. For the purpose of this post (and my own sadistic enjoyment) I will write paragraphs per person for those of you have impacted me the most, for good or for bad reasons. Let the guessing game begin.

Your laughter can brighten up anyone’s day, while deafening them at the same time. Your personality is like gold and your strength is beyond me. We grew apart for unfortunate reasons but I will always smile when I see photos of the good times we had.

Once upon a time you terrified me. In fact, you still make my bones tingle with fear on occasion. But I admire that about you, oddly enough. You do and say anything you please and people respect you for that. I respect you for that. We had a few run-ins and you were out of line. But that’s you – love or hate, all or nothing. Your attitude is hilarious, as is your humour. Your presence will be missed, now and again.

Our relationship, if you could even call it that, was one that was so strange I am yet to fathom how it actually came about. I did trust you, I genuinely did. You knew a hell of a lot about me, more than most of my closest friends at the time. I was horrible to you. I really am sorry for that. You didn’t deserve to endure the treatment I gave you. I’m glad you’ve been able to forgive me and I’m so glad you’ve become the person you are today.

Personally, I’ve dreaded writing this paragraph because to keep it to just a paragraph is impossible. I could write a whole book about us. You will, in my mind and heart, always be the one person that stands out of the crowd of blurred faces when I think back on my years in secondary school. Gone but never, ever forgotten.

We’ve always gotten along very well, haven’t we? There’s something about our humour that just clicks when we’re together. You’re one of the few people I still like and have respect for from my old group of friends. You’re going to do a brilliant Leaving, I’d put money on it. I think my fondness of you has been recognised so even when you’re long gone, a relationship with one of your kind will still remain.

You disgust me. You’re whole demeanour is revolting. You try too hard and for what? Status? Boys? Popularity? In my opinion you have none of those. And you’re not the easiest on the eyes either, God love you.

Can I just say, you’re amazing. Literally you are one of the nicest, most genuine people I know. I love your personality. I love spending time with you. I love that you are one of the few people that understand and can handle my sarcastic nature. I really believe you are a diamond in the rough and you don’t even know it. I’m going to miss you more than almost everyone else, please believe it. I love you.

I dislike you so much that I refuse to give you a full paragraph, though I most certainly could. You miserable bitch.

I have known you for so long that I have become immune to your annoyingness.  That’s a lie. Your personality can penetrate any material. Yes I just referenced your personality to a penis and a condom. But hey, that’s our relationship. Serious conversations don’t exist with you 97% of the time and when they do, you go all crazy-ass on me, which is quite an enjoyable experience. I love you and I hate you. I’ll miss you, perhaps.

You were never a friend. I disliked you from the moment I laid eyes on you. I never could have imagined the amount of anguish you would end up causing me, especially in such an indirect manner. I got my revenge. Very immature revenge but revenge nonetheless. You have always reminded me of a Warner Bros. character actually. I greatly anticipate your departure from my life.

You are one strange girl. I fear there is something about you that I have never understood, nor will I ever get the chance to try to understand again. At one time you were everything to me. Then you were nothing but a reminder of regrets. Now, finally, you are someone I can have a normal conversation with, without getting nervous or trying too hard. You are the foundation on which my writing has grown and for that I am ever grateful. I never imagined saying goodbye to you would have become this easy but I can only see it as a positive that it has. You deserve happiness and I hope that smile of yours continues to light up peoples’ lives just as it did to mine.

You have been the dark horse this year in terms of who I have grown close to. You never fail to make me laugh. The atmosphere your presence creates is one that no-one else could ever compete with. I am going to miss you very much but I know there’ll be no getting rid of you over summer. Something I look forward to very much.

Oh my days, where do I begin with you. The memories I have of us are insane. Who does that stuff in school?! It’s a pity we grew apart. When I think back on all the stupid shit I did as a teenager I’m sure the majority of them will involve you. You were a good friend at times. The distance between us has probably been for the best.

There’s no easy way of saying this so I might as well get straight to it. I hate you. When I see you my stomach turns and I have to look away. I treated you like one of the Royals and I am deeply ashamed of that. You deserved no apology that day. What you said to me I will never forget. I have forgiven you, yes, though I cease to understand why or how. I shan’t waste anymore ink on you.

So that’s it. Job done. Finito. I have little else to say about you all. In total honesty, I dislike a lot more of you than I have included but if I was to write a paragraph on each of you, I would be repeating myself. Thank you all for contributing unknowingly and unwillingly to the creation of this post. Five years has finally been worth something, eh?


  1. doing t.y was the best choice of your life! you were lucky to get away from them by the sounds of it... haha