Wednesday, 14 November 2012

18 of My Guilty Pleasures

So yes, I have decided to make this list for no other reason than I have run out of good ideas. This is merely to occupy my mind until I think of something… deeper, shall we say. Nevertheless, it might be interesting. Heck, I might even show glimpses of happiness in this. We all know I’m not the most uplifting writer. Ho-hum.

1.     Crying

Okay so I started with this one on purpose. I can imagine certain people muttering ‘Oh God’ (or worse) on seeing it. I can’t deny I love having a good old sob. Whether it be to a movie or a song, in public or into my pillow, it’s almost an addictive sensation for me. I feel so fresh after, no matter how ridiculous that sounds. Yeah, I’m a crier. Beats being a rock anyway; too much effort for my liking.

2.     Hearing people give advice

I possibly should have included the words “try to” in that statement. So many people genuinely think they’re being deep and insightful, when reality is they just sound like a complete dunce. I think girls are the biggest culprits for this shameful act. Sometimes I hear ‘advice’ and wonder did this imbecile even process the information before releasing it into the mind of their desperate friend. Who, for the record, nods in agreement, exclaiming “Yeah omg you’re SO right, you’re SO good at giving advice”.

3.     Buying food  

It’s an obsession. I literally spend all of my money on food when I’m in town. If you have ever been so unlucky as to have spent a day in my company you will realise the truth in these words. I simply venture from Subway to the Dungeon, back to Eddie Rockets and maybe a quick visit out to McDonalds, if I’m feeling ambitious.

   4.     Justin Bieber   

Finally, after around four years of resistance, I have succumbed to the power of the Biebs. Was it his new haircut or his vocal transformation from girl to boy? I don’t know. All I can be sure of is my undeniable fetish for his cheesy, unoriginal music. Be it “One Time”, “Never Say Never” or even “Baby”, I will happily bop along to any of his catchy songs. His Heaven- sent looks simply add to my interest in this boy. I was pleasantly pleased to hear today that he also has a six-pack. But can I make one thing very clear – I am not a Belieber. Just no.

5.     Playing with my hair

I do this all the time. It’s an impulse that I simply can’t shake. Twirling my hair into all sorts of knots and then unravelling them, taking two strands of hair and making them into one – it’s irresistible! Especially when my hair is über-soft.  It’s such a typically girly thing to do, and such a cliché. But hey, whatcha gonna do? It’s fun.

6.     Hugs

I can openly say I am a hugger. I love hugs. Proper ones though, not those shitty little fake ones people (usually girls) give to each other. They annoy me to the point where I actually feel the muscles in my face cringing at the sight of these ‘hugs’. I prefer those emotion-filled, passionate hugs. The ones where you actually want to hold the other person. And you can never go wrong with a few tears thrown in. Just kidding.

7.     Being considered a snob

To my disappointment, this doesn’t happen that often anymore. However, I still consider myself to be quite pretentious at times. I like the finer things in life – who doesn’t? Admittedly, I would turn my nose up to a three-star hotel or taking public transport. But if there’s no other option then I wouldn’t kick up a fuss. For the most part anyway.

8.     Disney Channel everything   

Am I alone in saying the Disney Channel has gone to the dogs lately? The poor kids of today. They missed all the classics – Hannah Montana (a personal favourite of mine), That’s So Raven, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Lizzy Maguire; I could keep going but you get my point. If these shows were still being aired, I would be downstairs glued to the screen right now. The Disney Channel represents my later childhood years in one word – bliss.

9.     Horror movies

Nothing beats a wet, dark night spent watching a movie that you know is going to freak the shit out of you. I’m terrible with scary movies. I have an awful habit of not breathing when I feel something hair-raising is about to happen. I watched a movie before with my friends about an exorcism and it left me terrified. I asked my best friend to accompany me into the kitchen knowing I would be safer with her. I turned my back for a split second, only to turn back and find my friend on the floor with her body twisted into a weird position, imitating an exorcism. I locked myself into the utility room. Bitch. 

10.  Singing in my room

I’m singing as write this, which takes serious concentration. Every day without fail I spend at least half an hour just sitting on my bed, singing. With my iPod speakers, obviously. My voice is awful. I like to pretend I’m a great singer; my music is so loud that my voice can suddenly change from sounding like Hayley Williams to Avril Lavigne perfectly. At least I sing badly behind closed doors. Those people that murder songs publically should be fined.

11. Pulling out eyelashes

This one sounds quite psychotic because, quite frankly, it is. My mom tells me on a regular basis that only people in mental institutions do that and would I like to join them. I can’t help it though; I’m extremely paranoid about getting eyelashes in my eyes. So I thought being one step ahead and catching them while they’re loose would be a good idea. Apparently not.

12.  D.M.C.s

Unfortunately, not everyone gets as excited by deep and meaningful conversations as I do. I don’t know what it is about emotionally connecting with people on such a level that appeals to me so much, but I’m hooked. And I’m really good at them. Apparently I’m “too deep” sometimes, which I find hilarious. Mostly because I know it’s true.

13. Checking people out 

Okay I’m pretty sure most of you reading this can relate to this one. Sometimes it’s even a subconscious act that one really can’t control. It’s like window-shopping. You can browse for hours, you don’t need to decide on anything immediately, and it doesn’t cost a cent. So who wouldn’t enjoy looking at beours and feens all day? I’m not picky; I’ll take either.

14. Serious talks in school

Those talks that everyone rolls their eyes at? You know the ones. I’m in my freakin’ element in there. “Today we’re going to talk about bullying”. Sweeeeet. My strange enthusiasm is possibly due to how passionate I am about exposing these touchy issues. I have no problem discussing these topics, so I thrive on the classes where shit gets serious.

15.  Looking in the mirror

I blame my parents for this. Without the massive “Sliderobe” mirrors that account for half of my room, I would not be anywhere near as mirror-dependant. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a vain person at all. I just like knowing what I look like all the time. It’s probably really unhealthy that I spend so much time in front of them. But when you combine my singing crazes with my own reflection, a mini concert is created in my own bedroom every night.

16. Buying Converse

Anyone that knows me in the slightest could tell you about my obsession with Converse. It’s actually more of an addiction. I feel deprived now because I haven’t bought a new pair in about a year. I have almost every colour available, and in so many different styles and shapes. Roughly, I own about seventeen pairs. Yes I know I’m an unappreciative, spoilt child. I’m aware of this. But I’m getting new Cons in a few weeks so I don’t really care. La la la.

17. Stalking on Facebook

The entire population of Facebook users are guilty of this pleasure and there is no denying it. How could anyone resist delving through the social lives of their fellow peers? I certainly can’t. I’d be first to admit that most of my time on Facebook is spent creepin’ on others. But there is a limit. When you ‘like’ a person’s profile photo from last February, you know you’ve gone too far. You may think you’re complimenting someone, but you’re not. You’re freaking the fuck out of them and leading to yourself being de-friended.

18. Kristen Stewart

This gorgeous woman is my weakness regarding the Twilight movies. Without her, my interest would be miniscule. I am neither Team Edward nor Team Jacob – I am Team Bella all the way. Who cares if she’s a greedy whore? She’s hot so it’s okay. I’m just biased towards her as you can see. Any movie involving Ms Stewart is a movie I would recommend. Her natural beauty is breath-taking and she completely won me over when she wore Converse with a dress to the MTV Movie Awards. 
Marry me?

Saturday, 10 November 2012

A Letter To My Thirteen Year Old Self


This is really strange for me because I can remember you perfectly. You’re fun to be around, “one of the lads”, and most of all you’re always smiling. It pains me to say this, but that’s all going to change in the next few years. I wish I could tell you how great your teenage years will be. But I’ve set you up for the greatest fall you will ever experience. For that, I really am sorry. However, the fact that I’m writing this means you will get through everything our life throws at you. It’s going to be one hell of a journey that you definitely won’t be ready for, but it’s the path I’ve chosen for you; for us. The one that went up in flames with every regretful step I took. Your life is about to change dramatically and I wish I could give you every little detail so you can avoid all the trauma. But if I did that you wouldn’t become the person I am now. Maybe I’m wrong in saying this, but I think I’m actually a half-decent person. And no matter how awfully hard my adolescence has been, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I’m sixteen now and a completely different person to who you are at the moment. The most encouraging thing I can tell you about me is that I have learnt never to take happiness for granted. In saying this, I’m happy right now – the happiest I’ve been since I was you. I hate that I’ve done this to your future, but you’re going to have to grow up extremely fast. Things will start to go downhill after your next birthday, so enjoy this year while you can. The friends you have now will not be the friends you’ll have at my age. It’s crazy how much can change in three years. Being blunt, you’re going to lose most of your friends. Expect the worst from those you thought the most of. I’m sitting next to your best friend as I write this sentence and I couldn’t have less respect for her if I tried. She’s going to ruin you, Olivia. When that happens, you will be alone. Help will be scarce and ‘friends’ will become a word vague and unfamiliar to you. You may think they’ll never come back, but they will… eventually.

I have not made life easy for you. You’re going to make massive mistakes and have a whole list of regrets. You’re going to hurt the ones you love the most, and not just once. They’re going to hurt you too, though. You’ll go through long phases of depression, self-harming, and complete withdrawal from life. But someone will save you. Someone will care about you. You must find that person; it will be the best decision of your life so far. Apologise. Forget your ego – apologies will be your saviour in the long haul. So will writing. You’re going to be a great writer, Olivia; it’s going to help you so much. But writing will be a huge secret for years. Enjoy that side of you that few know about. Also, never give up on your passions: soccer and guitar. They will stand to you and be a major escape in time.

In between the fights, the bullying, the betrayal and the disappointments, you will make some great memories. You’ll know what love is by the age of fifteen. You will also know the severity of a broken heart at the age of fifteen. Anyway, here’s something you won’t want to hear: you’re bisexual. Yes I know the lesbians on Coronation Street freak you out, but that’s simply because you don’t understand sexuality yet. You hear stereotypes and insults, and you think anything different is awful. But YOU are so different. You’ll never “blend in” no matter how hard you try. When you do open up and start being yourself you’ll realise how much happier you are. People may not believe your announcement at first (they think you’re looking for attention, drama, etc.) but you’ll soon prove them wrong. The first person to steal your heart will be a girl. Shocked? Well, the second person you fall in love with will also be a girl. The year between these relationships will be a rollercoaster of emotions, tears, boys, girls, hate, fear, and finally, relief. You’re going to try too hard to fall in love again with just anyone, and after a year of searching you’ll give up. That’s when my girlfriend will find you. Yes, I’m talking about as little as four months ago, my time. She’s going to be the answer to that prayer you will have been making for months. If I knew how long this happiness will last, I would tell you. Go with your instincts; listen to your heart – this time it got it right.

Even though a lot of people will know your dramas, don’t let them think they know you. Very few people do. Don’t depend too much on people; it’s a death-trap. Don’t trust every person that asks about you either. They don’t care about you; they’re just nosey and selfish. Appreciate those few that stick with you, but not everyone that leaves you is to be forgotten about. There will be a few people that will always be in your heart. For some, memories are all that will remain. Others will bring you happiness every day. Enemies will fade away, along with all the drama surrounding your name. You’ll be scarred, but so much stronger. Your pain and experiences will work to your advantage in so many ways; you just need to figure out how.

Anyway, I hope this letter has helped you understand you a little better. I know it’s vague, but listen closely to what I do tell you. You have the insight I only wished for.

Good luck in life, I hope we meet some day. I’m sure we’ll have plenty to talk about.