Betrayal is something that is so over-publicized these days
that it has almost lost its actual meaning. We hear about it so much in the
media or in movies, songwriters express it in their number one hits all the
time which people casually sing along to, unaware of the pain it took to write
such powerful and imposing lyrics. Do we ever really understand the act of
cheating? In my opinion, cheating will always just be a common phrase that’s taken
for granted. Unless of course you have experienced its heart-wrenching effects.
So why do people do it? What sort of mystical being can
capture and engulf someone’s heart that once belonged safely to someone else? Not
many I would think. Nine times out of ten you don’t end your current
relationship and marry your secret Lover; you regret it ever happening. Then why
do it? For some people, it’s the thrill of it all. It’s a small spark with
someone else that you didn’t think possible when you got into your
relationship. You start doubting it; “Am I happy with my partner?” “If I was,
would I be feeling these mixed emotions?” The answer (generally speaking) is yes. Depending
on how long you’ve been in the relationship, you may not feel butterflies
anymore. You may not shake in their presence, or want to be with them all the
time. But you do need them. Life wouldn’t be the same without them.
I guess one way of looking at it is that love is like a
drug. It makes you feel ecstatic and you can’t get enough of it. You need it on
a daily basis to survive. But as time passes, you get accustomed to the high. It
begins to feel normal, like it isn’t even in your system. That’s when a new
drug (the Lover) comes into the picture. However, if you take away the first
drug that’s been keeping you grounded, you’ll start to get withdrawal symptoms
and wish you hadn’t forgotten what that ecstatic feeling was like. And sometimes
that’s really all it is. People forget what it was they felt in their
relationship until it’s too late.
Perhaps sometimes it’s simply spending too much time with
someone you know is interested. Mix alcohol into that and you’ll have deadly
results. I refuse to accept drinking as a legit excuse for cheating. No-one
forced you onto him; no-one forced you to get drunk. In fact, people may even
have warned you in the midst of the madness not to betray your partner. But when
a person’s mind is set on something and they are consumed in those thoughts
(and liquor), nothing will prevent the inevitable mistakes that lie ahead. If you
have been cheated on in these circumstances, don’t make or allow excuses. Don’t
blame the drink. Alcohol didn’t cheat on you.
After you have experienced this utmost form of betrayal, how
does the relationship recover from such a blow? First of all you must decide if
the relationship is worth fighting to save. You could base that decision on multiple
factors: 1. Did you partner tell you everything about the affair without having
to be interrogated. 2. Did they show remorse and regret for their actions. 3. Are
they willing to work ruthlessly to get your trust back? If the answer is yes to
all of those factors, to a certain extent they deserve another chance. But even if you do decide to forgive them, the
emotional scars will not automatically fade away. Nor will the mind-engraved
vision of your loved one enjoying the gentle caress of a hand or lip that isn’t
yours.
When your heart is hurt in such a tormenting way, there is
only one person that can heal it: yourself. No amount of “I’m sorry” s or boxes
of chocolates can replace the piece of your heart that was lost in this
process. Will you heart ever replace that piece? Possibly not. Maybe it’s just
leaving room for an even stronger love to grow in its place. If you can
genuinely forgive someone for playing your heart like that, at least you’ll
have the consolation of knowing that no matter how many times it gets broken,
you have a heart that many relationships would die for. You have a heart that
shows no boundaries towards forgiveness and love.
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